Growing and Changing
Dad, Family, Life May 16th, 2007I live in an area that has a very high cost of living and even if you have a well paying job, it is hard to make a living. My dad has been considering applying for some other jobs in the company he works for; it would be a change of jobs but within the same company. So, transfer I guess? Last year he was thinking Texas and now he is thinking Alabama. A job opened up there and he has the qualifications. He asked me if I would move with him. It would be this summer.
For one, my scholarship only covers Florida. If I move out of state, I lose my scholarship and either have to find a new one or pay for college on my own.
Two, I’ll be 20 years old in 19 days and I’m getting to the age where I’m going to have to get out on my own. I know he hopes I’ll stay longer (to make up for those 6-8 years he lost when he left) but I’m getting that butterfly trapped in a cacoon feeling. I need to get out. It isn’t that I don’t love him. It’s that I’m growing up.
Three, I’m not going to leave Josh.
But at the same time, I know he isn’t going to go and move and leave me behind. If I don’t go, he’s not going to go. I don’t want him to feel held back by me. Sometime in the next year or so, I’m probably going to be leaving him. Why does he feel it so hard to leave me? I hate to say it but he left me all those years ago and I needed him more then. I don’t know how to explain it to him. I try but he doesn’t understand.
I’m growing up. I’m not a little girl anymore. I might always be his baby but I’m going to get old enough to be ok on my own. Alabama might be what is best for him and, if he left, I’d be ok. I might stumble. I might fall. But that’s part of the process, isn’t it?
EDIT / May 17: He made some excuse and decided not to go.
May 16th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I guess no matter how old you get, you’ll still be daddy’s little girl. I suppose he’ll have to adjust to being apart from you and letting you go. Here in India, while sons and daughters don’t move out at a certain age, something similar would be marriage. At least for a girl (traditionally the son stays with his parents). When a girl gets married, she’s no longer a daugther but more of a guest to her family - that’s how my dad keeps saying it anyway.
It’ll be tough on your dad, but he has to accept that you’ve grown up. It’s understandable that he doesn’t want to let go of you yet, you have been through a lot and he probably wants you under his protective care, I guess?
Living on your own is a great experience though, you’ll learn a lot, know and correct your mistakes, and grow even more.
May 16th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
I guess that he’s just having a hard time believing that you’re all grown up already. You are/were his child. It’s something my parents talk about once in a while, and it seems to be something characteristic of most, if not all, parents.
Florida sounds like the best for you. If you can find a way to stay, then stay. Since you’ll be in school most of the time anyways, you can just visit him during breaks.
May 16th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Well, it’s true that, at that age, you’ll end up having to leave on your own sometime or another. In fact, I’m experiencing something similar. My parents just moved to Iowa, and I’m just now beginning to register to a new college, and living in a dorm.
So, I know how you feel, about being a butterfly trapped in its cocoon. I try to explain to my parents, that eventually I’m gonna have to be out on my own, and I’d rather not wait ’till I’m 30 or whatever. Yet, they always explain how it’s hard for them to, “cut the apron strings”. So, I would talk to your Dad more about it, ’cause Stephanie is right, you could always visit on breaks, and during vacation time.