Freedom
Josh, Life July 23rd, 2008I broke up with Josh this morning. I got tired of hitting a brick wall most of the time when I reached out for him, like I was never good enough. I got tired of being expected to do what he wanted, no matter what, when he wanted. I got tired of feeling like a possession that could be tossed aside when unwanted. I got tired of the double standard: it’s fine if he does something (and I better not think anything of it) but if I want to do that same thing, I’m not allowed.
He’s been “kind” enough to offer to take me back if I stop being friends with a certain person. When I said no, he incredulously asked why I would give up four years for some guy.
I’m not giving it up. He gave it up a while ago. And if I were giving it up, it’s for my rights/freedoms, not a guy. I’m a person with thoughts and feelings and I’m not going to be controlled.
I miss him. I still love him. But I realize what I miss hasn’t been there for a few months anyways. What I miss is the good times. And that’s gone.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I’m so sorry to hear that Skye, I hope you get through okay. *hugs*
July 24th, 2008 at 6:58 am
This seemed oh so sudden and I admit I was shocked when I read the first line. I guess we don’t really know what’s going to happen in the coming moments. There’s still the uncertainty. *HUGS* If I could just go there to give you a real hug I would. Though I’m not in the same position as you are, I also feel like my heart has been torn apart. Give it a few days, and I do hope you’d feel better. *HUG* again. Just email me if you want to talk. I really missed you.
July 24th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Oh… I’m so sorry, for both of you. I really hope you can talk this out, and see if you can still make your relationship work. I always thought that a good relationship isn’t really good without some drama, and maybe a couple of break-and-make-ups… If it doesn’t work out, well… I hope you really enjoy your freedom. You know I love ya. *hugs*
July 24th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Aw, Skye. *Hugs* I’m so sorry things that to turn out this way. I was hoping that you two would work it out somehow. But if this really liberates you, and makes you a happier person - then don’t worry. The aftermath won’t be easy but eventually everything will fall back in place. So stay strong Skye, like you always have.
July 25th, 2008 at 5:12 am
Ditto Trish; that first line had me there (although it does explain the “stress” you mentioned in passing on my blog post. =\) It seems you’re upset that it had to end this way; that all effort on your part didn’t work. But you’re adamant about the bit where he goes too far - when it comes to you and that other guy friend. And that must’ve been the last straw.
Shite, I’m sorry about that. -_- As Hollywood-ish as it sounds, I guess it’s time to get out the Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream…*hugs*
July 26th, 2008 at 3:04 am
awe, you must be going through such hard times. i hope that you can get through all of this- besides, you’re young and you have a lot of time to figure things like this out. it’s true that you may still love him, but it can also be true that he didn’t treat you with all the respect that you deserve. whether or not you made the right or wrong choice is not up to me to decide- but i know that you have a mindset completely different from anyone i know in that you are very careful and you think about what’s in your best interest. you’ll be just fine!