I was going to blog about the reasoning behind why I left Josh. I know it came as a suprise to a lot of you because I kept it private. But if you don’t believe me that it has been going bad for a while, ask Shadow. Let’s just say that he stopped caring about me, thinking I’d just be there for him forever whenever he needed me and stay out of the way when he didn’t. Since we broke up, I’ve found a lot of other things that he kept hidden from me, lying because he knew I would leave him. But that’s done and over. I’m out of it and just that fact makes me happy.

What else makes me happy?

Oh. My. Gosh. This guy is absolutely amazing.

I knew him for a week or so before I left Josh. We really were just friends (despite what Josh & Co. think) before then, though I could see that he was something special. So, after I became single, we went out on a date to see how it would go.

Oh. My. Gosh. This guy is absolutely amazing.

And everyone here knows I don’t normally talk like that. When I’m with him, I can’t stop smiling and laughing. He makes me feel so natural and open and myself. There’s no holding back with him; he wants to know me for who I am and I can’t help but want to know him for who he is. No matter what, he gets me. We’ve had tons of endless chats on IM, text messages back and forth, and three dates in as many days.

And it doesn’t go away. Even when he’s not here, I feel like I’m floating. Thursday (our first date) was the six year anniversary of my brother’s death. Friday (our second date) would have been my mom’s 55th birthday. This is the first year that I haven’t cried. I feel like I’m eleven years old again: absolutely and completely happy and at peace.

And when we touch it’s electric. Even the most simple things like his hand resting lightly on my back. Wow. That’s the only word to describe it.

Wow.