In the summer between 9th and 10th grade (six years ago; goodness!) I spent half of the summer doing the play Fiddler on the Roof at the nearby community college. At that time, I was still way too nervous to try out for an actual role, though I silently coveted the part of Fruma Sarah.

I remember the girl who got the part. She waited until the last minute to memorize her lines, ones that I had learned far before. I enjoyed imagining how I would capture her evil-esque part. If only, if only… *sigh*

In the play, Tevye is the Russian-Jewish father of three daughters who seek the ones to marry. His oldest, Tzietl, falls in love with a young tailor named Motel even though she has been promised to an old widowed butcher. She tries to convince her father that she would rather be with Motel and, eventually, he gives in. But first, he must convince his wife (Golde). To do this, he fakes a dream where the ghost of Fruma Sarah, the butcher’s dead wife, comes to him and threatens to harm Tzietl if she marries the butcher. Though it is fake, it is depicted in the play as he tells his wife about it.

[Golde]
(spoken)
Tell me what you dreamed and I’ll tell you what it meant!

[TEVYE]
(spoken)
All right, only… don’t be frightened! In the beginning I dreamt that we were having a celebration of some kind. Everybody we knew was there. Musicians too. Suddenly, in comes your grandmother Tzietl, may she rest in peace. Naturally, I went up to greet her, and she said:

(sung)

[GRANDMA TZEITL]
A blessing on your head
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
To see a daughter wed
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
And such a son-in-law
Like no-one ever saw
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[GOLDE]
(spoken)
Motel?

[GRANDMA TZEITL]
(sung)
A worthy boy is he
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
Of pious family
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
They named him after my
Dear uncle Mordachai
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[GOLDE]
(spoken)
A tailor? She must have heard wrong. She meant a butcher.

(sung)
[TEVYE]
You must have heard wrong Grandma
There’s no tailor
You mean the butcher Grandma
By the name of Lazer-Wolfe

[GRANDMA TZEITL]
Noooo!
I mean a tailor Tevye
My great-grandchild
My little Tzietl who you named for me
Motel’s bride was meant to be!

For such a match I prayed
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
In heaven it was made
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
A fine upstanding boy
A comfort and a joy
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[GOLDE]
(spoken)
But we announced it already!
We made a bargain with the butcher!

(sung)
[TEVYE]
But we announced it Grandma
To our neighbors
We made a bargain Grandma
With the butcher Lazer-Wolfe

[GRANDMA TZEITL]
Noooo No!
So you announced it Tevye
That’s your headache
And as for Lazer-Wolfe I say to you
Tevye, that’s your headache too!

[CHORUS]

A blessing on your house
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
Imagine such a spouse
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
And such a son-in-law
Like no-one ever saw
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[TEVYE]
(spoken)
But he’s a butcher!

[CHORUS]
(sung)
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[TEVYE]
(spoken)
His name is Lazer-Wolfe

[CHORUS]
(sung)
The tailor Motel Camzoil

Tevye:
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[CHORUS]
Sha!
Sha!

Look who is this? Who is this? Who comes here?
Who
Who
Who
Who
What woman is this?
By righteous and is shaking

Could it be?
Sure!
Yes it could!
Why not?**
Who could be mistaken?

It’s the butcher’s wife come from beyond the grave
It’s the butcher’s dear, darling, departed wife
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah

[FRUMA SARAH]
Tevye!! Tevye!!!!!
What is this about your daughter marrying my husband?

[CHORUS]
Yes, her husband!

[FRUMA SARAH]
Would you do this to your friend and neighbor Fruma Sarah?
(Fruma Sarah!)

Have you no consideration for a woman’s feelings?
(Woman’s feelings!)

Handing over my belongings to a total stranger!
(Total stranger!)

How can you allow it? How! How can you let your daughter to take my place?
Live in my house
Carry my keys
And wear my clothes
Pearls
How?

[CHORUS]
How can you allow your daughter to take her place?
(Pearls!)
House!
(Pearls!)
Keys!
(Pearls!)
Clothes
(Pearls!)
How?

[FRUMA SARAH]
Such a learned man as Tevye wouldn’t let it happen!
(Let it happen!)
Tell me that it isn’t tue and then I wouldn’t worry!
(Wouldn’t worry!)
Say you didn’t give your blessing to your daughter’s marriage
(Daughter’s marriage)
Let me tell you what would follow such a fatal wedding
(fatal wedding!)
(shhhhhh!)

If Tzietl marries Lazer-Wolfe
I pity them both!
She’d live with him three weeks
And when three weeks are up
I’ll come to her by night
I’ll take her by the throat and
This I’ll give your Tzietl
That I’ll give your Tzietl
This I’ll give your Tzietl
That I’ll give your Tzietl

(No! No! No!)

Here’s my wedding present if she marries Lazer-Wolfe!

[CHORUS AND TEVYE SCREAM]

[GOLDE]
Aye
Aye
Aye
Aye

It’s an evil spirit! Let it fall into the river, let it sink into the earth!
Such a dark and horrible dream!
And to think, it was brought on by that butcher!
If my grandmother Tzietl, may she rest in peace,
Took the time to come all the way from the other world to tell us
About the tailor all I can say is that it’s for the best.
And couldn’t possibly get any better. Amen.

[TEVYE]
Amen

(sung)

Golde:
A blessing on my head
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
My Grandma Tzietl said
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
We’ll have a son-in-law
Like no-one ever saw
The tailor Motel Camzoil

[TEVYE]
We haven’t got the man
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
We had when we began
(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)
But since your grandma came
She’ll marry… what’s his name?

[GOLDE]
The tailor, Motel Camzoil

[BOTH]
The tailor Motel Camzoil

**The heavily emphasized portion there was my actual solo line. :)