Last Friday at work, I asked my boss F if I would be able to come in the next morning before opening for some coffee since I was closing late that night and had class early the next morning. Because, y’know, I didn’t want to be a traitor and go to one of the competitors that actually was open at such an outrageous time in the morning. He said that it was ok with him, but to ask Adi because he was the opening manager the next day.

So, I texted Adi to ask.

F: You know, in the time it takes you to type that, you could have called him and asked him your question and then you would have your answer instead of waiting for his response.

Me: But what if he’s busy? It’s a simple question that I can wait on an answer for and I don’t want to bother him.

F: Texting in general is pointless. *insert rant about texting* Not to mention that it takes so much time because you have to hit a button three times just to get the letter you want.

Me: No I don’t! *shows off phone* I have a keypad! It’s just like typing on a computer except smaller! *phone vibrates* See, and he responded!

Adi said no, it was against protocol to sell anything before opening. He then asked me to ask F what F wanted because F had called him and Adi wasn’t able to answer his phone.

Me: See! He couldn’t answer his phone! If I had called, I wouldn’t have my answer.

F: *scoff* Well, ask him on that… that text machine if he finished so-and-so…

Me and Taylor (coworker) burst out laughing hysterically at F’s terminology.

F: Are you two ok? It looks like you’re having a seizure.

Me & Taylor: *nods, unable to speak*

Me: F… Do I have your permission to blog this? Way too funny not to blog…

F: Sure, whatever… *shakes his head at us*