In my life, I’ve always found comfort in getting things out in writing and art: physical, substantial representations of whatever it is I’m confronting. In the natural process of discovering who I am, what I believe, and where my place is in this world, I have found myself doing the same thing. I think that is the reason behind my tattoos.

My first was “skyefairy” on my right hip. As my confidence faltered, my best friend reminded me what it means to me. It wasn’t just my website, it was the essense of me wrapped up in one word. I can’t explain it here, but trust me on that. And also, if I were to get a tattoo, it was proof to myself that I could actually do something and take a risk without chickening out, backing down, or–as always–playing it safe.

My second was a set of musical notes on my mid-back. Music has always been a big part of my life. When I was five, I declared I wanted to be a singer and that belief never faltered. I performed for my family with my cousins, I practiced endlessly, I joined the chorus. The notes were from the Beatles song “Blackbird,” specifically “take these broken wings and learn to fly.” I’ve encountered many obstacles in my life that have broken my metaphorical wings. Yet, I always strive to do what my mom told me to: keep going, never give up.

Yet, now I have another decision to make. I have a third tattoo in mind. I like the tattoo’s image, it represents me in another facet, and I’m comfortable with the placement (though this one will hurt a whole helluva lot more). But I’m left with that same doubt I had on the first. That in itself is intrinsic to who I am, though. I secondguess EVERYTHING. And I usually play it safe. So, I’m starting to wonder: do I get number three and continue with depicting who I am on the inside physically on the outside or do I let it stand and leave it at two?

And, am I trying to convince myself of who I am or do I know who I am and I’m merely trying to represent it in the best way I know how, putting it in more definable terms?